Sunday, June 16, 2013

Fear Rears Its Ugly Rear


                                                    Mar 25 2012  triple planet triangle

Paranoia Parody: 

Dear Super Spy Department:
Due to an undisclosed report-- 
As disclosed in this report--


To whom it may overly-concern:

I wish to request copies of any photographic images, charts, measurements and associated documents and files; any remarkable evidence of possible, yet unlikely health concerns;  with respect to--and for--my rectum. 

Due to my                , I feel your department might most successfully provide verification of the absence of sunlight. A possible health concern is neither probable or likely. 

Due to a deficit of self-confidence, I am going to redact a portion of the first sentence of the preceding paragraph. There is a perfectly constructed "reason" for this redaction. Unfortunately, any narrative providing the explanation would likewise require redaction.

Please search any database, utilizing tags, or keywords associated with my (admittedly worth a look) posterior region, to include any reference or other text, esp. anything particularly shitty, which might be recovered by looking up my ass, and result inembarrassment, guilty-thoughts, or the sort of stuff that my ass itch. 

By the way, please cease and desist your comprehensive                      of my nether-regions. You have given new meaning to the the concept of looking up old friends. As well, please feel free to take a glance or two at the content of our nation's Constitution. You might be surprised to realize the extent of your department'scollective intellectual shortcomings. 

Keep up the good work, you have a terrible job, but I commend you on technical merit.

Yours Truly
You-Know-Who, I reckon.

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